Family Visit

For the first time in maybe forever we had all three of us girls with all five of our girls in the same house for a nice long visit!  I can't tell you how much I looked forward to this trip.  We stayed super busy and got in as much fun as we could, though truth be told I think the girls had just as much fun playing here at the house as they did going out to do fun things!

Our Sunday afternoone was spent at our Church's Mother Daughter Tea. How fitting to have Nana with all her daughters and 3/5 of her grandaughters.  (Kate was way tired and sleeping and little Hayden is still a bit young to not want to eat the pom-poms that were the decor).  So we all dressed up and had a great time!

Everyone got their nails painted by Aunt Steph

My beautiful girl.

Love this shot!

Nana with Layla, Charleigh and Blake

Heather and Layla

To fit with the Cheerleading theme. 

Kim and Stephanie.  Aren't they pretty?

Not easy to get them to take a serious picture.

Headed home.

Blake and her sweet friend Easton.

Me and Blake

Hayden talking to her Daddy on Facetime

Monday we made a trip to the Fort Worth Zoo.  The girls all do so good, they were happy and kept up well considering how big the place is!


The only shot with all 5 girls looking and smiling!

Charleigh and Blake

Me and my girls.

Kate and Charleigh

Nana and Layla

Papa and Hayden

Stephanie feeding the birds

Layla feeding the birds.

Taking a break in the stroller

Our only pic from dinner at Babe's.  Picking out music from the Juke Box with Papa.



5 little monkeys having their breakfast.



The next day we had lunch at Rainforest Cafe.



Checking out the sea life



At the Grapevine Aquarium

 

Blake petting a starfish and a shark!!




Blake and Charleigh playing on the trampoline.  Why in swimsuits?  Why not?

Kate hadn't quite woken up but still wanted in on the fun.

It was a busy, fun, exciting week to have us all together.  I can't wait for the next time!
 

Kate Turns Three!

 

 Friday night we celebrated Kate turning Three!!  Our church has an awesome play area so we had lots of friends, pizza and cake. 

Blake's Birthday

 

Since I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that I'll never do a post all about Blake's birthday, here is, atleast, a collage of the sweet girls we had for a sleepover and trip to build a bear.

 

 

 

Be Resolute

I've never been one for resolutions.
 Especially not the kind that require you to do something every day.
In the words of my online BFF Jen Hatmaker

" Between the Top 10 Lists everywhere, impending New Year’s Resolutions, freaking Pinterest, and the Advent Calendar (excuse me, but I have never done anything for 25 straight days in my life."

Give me a project I can complete in a day and I'm all over it.  I need to have a check list and be able to mark that sucker off...not see it again day after day after day.

But you know what I do need?  A few attainable goals.  The Lord has been putting these BIG dreams and BIG goals in my heart.  I'm begging him for knowledge on whether these goals will come to fruition soon or if I am still to be waiting, letting my hearts roots for Him grow deeper before acting.  I feel like right now I am to be patient.  That the desire the Lord has set in me to serve him by helping others is going to become so apparent to me that I know the call is from him.  (You can blame part of this stirring to the books "Anything" by Jennie Allen and "Kisses from Katie" by Katie Davis)

So, I'm going out on a limb and setting 3 Resolutions for 2013. 
Three areas of my life:  health, spirtuality and organization.

Now, you may want to laugh when you read my goals, but trust me these things do not happen every day for me.  And like I said, I need attainable goals.

#1  I will drink at least ONE bottle of water a day.  Forget the "8 glasses of water a day" . No way, not gonna happen.  When would I find time for coffee and diet coke?  I go to bed at night thinking about my Columbian coffee with pumpkin spice creamer that I'll get to have when I wake up.  And honestly, there have been  many days I haven't had any water to drink.  Isn't that gross??  Ugh, so from now on, I'll start with one bottle every day.  Who knows, maybe I'll work my way up to two.

#2  I will spend 5 minutes of uniterrupted prayer daily for my husband and children.  Maybe you guys are better at this than me.  Maybe you always get up before your kids and have quiet time to pray and read scripture.  For me, I love scripture.  I love to read it,listen to it, talk about it.  BUT, I lack in prayer.  Why?  I don't know.  Because I've seen God move is BIG ways when I've consistently prayed for a situation or a person.  So why am I not on my knees daily asking for God's provision, grace and abdundance on my family.  I

#3  I will make my bed every day (before noon).  This may be a tough one.  But you know your room feels calmer and more inviting when your bed is all made.  Don't get me wrong, Nick or I usually make our bed.   But it may be 6:00 or right before we go to bed.  SO, part of my morning routine it will now be.  (Lord willing)

**Aside.  I've been off of facebook for exactly one month now.  My committment was to stay off for one month, but now that the month is complete I don't feel ready to jump back on.  I wish I could use facebook like a normal person....but somehow it sucks me in.  I want to know what you and you and you are doing!  Why?  I have no idea.  It doesn't fullfill me.  It doesn't make me happier.  So, not that I won't go at all.  I just don't trust myself at this point to use it in moderation. 

If they gave out awards for worst bloggers ever, I'd probably be first in line for my plaque!

I honestly thought that giving up facebook for the month of December (and maybe longer) would free up some time to write some blog entries...but here in it 9:55 p.m. and all I'm going to give you is pictures.   Sorry.  I swear I have so many things to say, and maybe after the holidays I'll get around to saying them.  But for now....family pictures. 

November 13, 2012

Dear Blake,

Today you turn 5 years old. FIVE. YEARS. OLD. (pause for dramatic effect).


Will I ever get used to you growing up? I see pictures of you from when you were 3 and think, YES, that's my little girl...then I look at you and you've grown so much, and look every bit your 5 years....not 3. I often ask you to please stay 4. Last week we were snuggling on the couch, just you and me. Kate already in bed, Daddy working on a project. And I was in awe of how much I love you. I asked again if you could just not turn 5, because that's too old. You assured me you were ready to be 5, then promised me you would snuggle me no matter how old you were. (You also pinky promised to always live with us..)


You are such a precious, loving girl. You randomly tell me you love me, that you love Kate and think she cute, that we are the "perfect parents just for you." But YOU, my little love are the perfect little girl just for us. It's funny because we all know that you and I have brown eyes and Daddy and Kate have blue eyes. We had a conversation that went like this:

You: Hey Mom. Kate and Daddy have blue eyes. I want blue eyes, too.

Me: Well, what about me (meaning, hey, I like it that our eyes are brown.)

You: It's ok Mommy, you can have blue eyes too.

Burn. But I hope you grow up know you are beautiful beautiful beautiful. I look at your little dimples and bobbed hair cut (we'll touch on that in a minute) and wouldn't change one thing about you. But what's most important to me is that you are STUNNING on the inside. You share easily, you protect Kate and other friends that are with us (because you always want friends around), you are genuinely kind and compassionate. That's what I'm proud of.



Thanksgiving is coming up and so today I asked you what you were most thankful for, and honest to goodness without any prompting you replied "God and his people."
 

On our way out of preschool today we saw your teacher loading her car up and you said “Mom, I didn’t know teachers had cars!!!” 


You take care of your sister in ways that surprise me.  I have to remind myself that you aren’t in charge of her and to give you a break!  You are a big help to me sweet girl.  You keep Kate busy if I’m in the middle of something.  You like to help clean up the house and make dinner.  You even fold laundry with me. 
 

So earlier this year you and your cousin were playing at our house....and to make a dramatic event as nondramatic as I can I'll just say you two cut all each other's hair off. 4 months later we still take an extra 10 minutes every morning to make sure your hair lays smooth. Come ask me and I'll give you the dramatic version, ha!


You LOVE dresses. You love fancy, frilly, pink dressy dresses. And dress-up! Oh my you love dress up. Sometimes you'll play with blocks and want to build things, but 99% of the time you want to play dress up! We had our new neighbors over (they are boys ages 3 and 5) and lo and behold if they weren't in dresses within 15 minutes of being at our house.


You can write all your letters and count to 20.  You love to sing the songs you know in the car.  Your favorite song right now is “You are Savior” by Laura Story.  Your favorite colors are gold and silver.  Your favorite TV show is Wild Kratts.   Your favorite food is pizza.  We just raised the training wheels a little on your bike and you can’t wait to practice without them.  Your favorite fruit is apples, veggie is carrots.

If I had my way, I’d keep you four.  Crazy, I know.  But hopefully you’ll remember this year and how much fun we had.  How you would spend hours coloring princesses with pretty dresses, with the background always blue sky and green grass.  I hope you remember the fun we had with all your friends:  sleepovers, staying after preschool at the playscape,  riding bikes and scooters with the neighbors, swimming this summer.  I hope you remember snapshots and you someday miss being 4 too. 

You have my whole heart Lindsay Blake. 

I’ll never give up on you.  I will always be your biggest biggest fan, because I think you are amazing. 

Love you forever,

Mommy

I've always wanted a big family.  You know, probably 4 kids, so that there will always be big Christmas's and lots of noise and fun and people that have to love you because you gave birth to them.  Being a Mom has been something I've wanted as long as I can remember.  When I was eight we were learning about the rapture  at the little church my family were members of...how we will be taken up to heaven with Jesus... and I remember praying "Please let me have the chance to have my own kids before that happens."  I was that annoying girl that always asked to hold your baby at church.  I loved kids, I loved babies, and I couldn't wait to have that for myself someday. 

That being said, even though I married at 18, we waited 7 full years before we decided we were ready for a baby.  She was the best thing, EVER.  It was a MILLION times better than ever holding any other baby.  My heart beat with hers.   I still think she's the best thing ever,  she and Kate both.  But lately it's been a heavy burden on my heart whether I'm doing that great of a job raising them.

There's a variety of Mom that amazes me.  The ones that seem to have it all together....their kids always look clean and perfect.  Their hair is just so, makeup done, outfit just the right amount of classic and trendy.  Then there are Moms that I see that have this (in my mind) irrational sense that they've got this whole "parenting" thing down.  They rock it.  When they sign up for snacks at preschool  they bring a variety of fruit crafted into holiday themes and their kids don't know who Strawberry Shortcake or LalaLoopsy are, because of course their kids don't watch TV.  They don't really have to use time-out, "because she's just so amazing, I never have to really correct her."

I am not that Mom.  Really, I'm neither of them.  I am not perfect.  Neither are my kids.  Neither is my husband. 

It almost makes me laugh, because anyone that's spent 10 minutes with our family knows we're not perfect.  BUT, that being said, there's this whole cyberworld, and the majority of you have not spent 10 minutes with us...and so I would like to publicly proclaim I'm taking this whole parenting thing one day at a time...just trying to raise my kids to love Jesus and people and show them the best (though often fallible) example of what it looks like to live a life with integrity and grace for others.

I repeat.  We are not perfect.  We have real issues.  Issues that are too personal to blog. 
Like, look -at-your-girlfriend-and-raise-your-eyebrows kind of issues.  You know, those things that some day will be a blessing and a testimony and really inspire others...but for now they are just real life hard things you have to walk through issues. 

So today, while at Chick-fil-A with our after ladies bible class brood of Moms and kids...I got called out by a stranger-Mom on our all too real imperfections.  Our brood of kids were playing in the play area while we ate our lunch.  I made sure to spot Kate every few minutes to make sure she was safe/not crying etc.  And then....ouch...a Mom gives me the "come here finger motion" and I knew we were in trouble.  She was frustrated, with Kate because Kate wasn't sharing part of the toddler area and was being ugly to her daughter.  I wasn't in the area to witness any of this, but took the Mom's word for it, had Kate apologize, then we left Chik-fil-A.   Please hear me when I say, I am not so delusional to think my child could never be ugly to another child.  I've raised her for 2 1/2 years, I know she can be a handful.  BUT, the way she approached me and knocked my already fragile "Mom confidence" down about 10 nothches was so hateful.  Why is it we need to make other Mom's feel inferior??  It's like being in Target and seeing another Mom and her kids are being horrendous. What do you do?  Do you look at her with a sneer along with all the other annoyed shoppers, or do you give her a pat on the back and let her know we've ALL been there and ask if there is anything you can do to help? 

By the time I got to my car with Kate and Blake I was in tears.  I had promised Blake an icecream so I had to pull it together enough to get through the drive-thru without looking like a basket-case. 
All that to say, why not show grace?  My gut reaction was to give that Mom a lecture about how I'm doing the best I can, and I know my 2 1/2 year old sometimes acts 2 1/2 and  that maybe we could all just hang in there together and be kind and yes I'd be happy to correct any unkind behavior my child had and have her apologize...but WHY come at me like you've got this parenting thing all figured out?  I'm quite certain that any child taken in public on a regular basis will at some point act unruly and embarrass their parents.  I just hope that when her child does, someone is kind to her and gently shows her that we're all just trying to do the best we can. 

So this came at a hard time while I'm trying to figure out if we should grow our family. 
If I can't even seem to hold down what we've got going right now is it really a good idea to add another child into the mix?  This is just me being as honest as I can.  Kids are hard.  Just getting us all fed breakfast, dressed and in the car sometimes wears me out.  Yes, I love them.  Yes, I'd lay my life down for them  and YES they are hard.  They will take all I am willing to give.  If I give them every ounce of me, poured out...they will accept it. 

I still love the gift God is giving me in being a Mother.   And a crazy part of me still wants to add more chaos to this mix and grow our family.   But days like today make me wonder if that's smart when I struggle even now. 

I'm thankful I was able to hold my tongue, apologize to the accusatory chik-fil-a Mom and walk out with as much grace toward her as I could muster.   Parenting will always humble me, I will never feel like I've got it all figured out.  And if I see you almost pulling your hair out in Target while holding your screaming toddler, I will quietly tell you as I walk by "We've all been there."   And I hope you will do the same for me....

In the words of Ann Voskamp... All is Grace...