RN

Though I love taking care of Blake, and honestly think working ONE day a week outside the home sounds ideal for me, I truly love my job. Through all the frustrating, annoying, and lets add another "frustrating" in there, I can't imagine being anything but a nurse, and for the fore-seeable future an ICU nurse.

There was nothing extravagant about my work day yesterday. They usually start off the same. Me, thinking there's too much to do, these people are too sick, these families are TOO crazy, these doctors are TOO cranky (and will just walk away and ignore you!!!). I knew it would be a fun day when my charge nurse comes down the hall and the first thing she says is "I'm sorry, I'll help, I promise." hahaha, p.s. I work with the smartest, saviest, most quick-witted nurses around. Anyway, it wasn't that bad, this patient had been on the floor and went into full alcohol withdraw, had threatened to strangle his nurse with a phone cord, required 3 Ft Worth PD to get him in bed, then came to me in four point restraints and a posey vest. Nice. He had been medicated and was quite the somnolent gentleman by the time he came to me. When he would wake up all he would say was "Are you going to kill me now?" I just left that as a rhetorical question.

Another of my patients was an elderly (very elderly) man with dementia that probably wasn't going to make it more than a few days. He and his wife have been married 64 years. She was so distraught and really having a hard time seeing what would be best for her husband. I spent a lot of time with her that day, and when I was about to give up getting through to her I gave it one more shot....and she decided to let us not put him through CPR/Vent and all that goes with it. What a courageous woman to want to hold on so badly but in the end able to see that would be for her and not for her sweet husband.

Time out here for my soap box: It is absolutely, no matter how old you are, imperative that you either have an Advance Directive done (saying what you would/wouldn't want done to you medically) or to me even more imporatantly SPELL it out for your family what your wishes are!! Would you want to be on a ventilator long term? Would you want a tracheostomy? Would you want dialysis? Would you want to live if it mean living on a ventilator unaware of the world around you. Tell your family! Tell them over and over and make them promise to abide by your wishes, because in the end, no matter what paperwork you have done, if you are incompetent to make end of life decisions it will be your next of kin who will speak for you(first spouse, then oldest to youngest children.)

I know there are free packets at Texas Health hospitals to do Advance Directive and Medical Power of Attorney Paperwork. If you need one let me know, I'll get it.

My last patient of the day was a woman in her mid 50's who had basically OD'd. Jeeze.

I don't leave every shift loving my job. I'm often critical of myself, what I could've done better to make my patients better. But sometimes you get to leave knowing you made a difference. What a nice feeling.

But my job is and should always be, interesting. A few months I was trying to take care of an actively dying man and keep his family members civil to each other during that difficult time. Later in the afternoon an all out brawl went down (IN MY PTS ROOM) between two of the sons. People were there to help immediately, and my manager was amazing. I ended my shift giving a statement to the police.

Oh, Oh, and a few weeks ago I had a patient that had become very sick in her pregnancy, they had to do an emergency c/s. The baby was a little early, but fine and my patient had to come back to the ICU. AFter 3 days she still hadn'tlaid eyes on her baby boy. So I went to the NICU, got a few pictures and was able to show them to her. Then, the next day I got to take her to see her sweet baby for the first time. She held him for about 15 minutes then looked up at me and said "Would you like to hold him?" I told her no that this was a special time between mother and baby. It was hard  to hold back the tears.

I have more and more nursing stories, some too painful to live through again, but they have all shaped me and made me into the nurse I am today.