Oh ya know...just hanging out...

You know when your Mom calls and asks if you have somehow blocked her off your blog list because it's been so long since you posted that maybe it's time for an update.

So here is my synopsis of the past 2 months. 

Life is busy....and often messy. 

 Around here, it's felt like both. 

 And honestly there's always something to do that takes priority over blogging. 

 Like playing with the kids, cooking meals, cleaning up meals, giving baths, vacuuming (again!!), maybe having a phone conversation with an adult, play dates, working, reading, finding time alone with Nick, finding time alone with the Lord. 
Somehow tons of little things find a way to take up my entire day.
  Just like every other Mom in the world :)

So here's a few things going on with us:

We're selling our house.  Well maybe I should say we're trying to sell our house.  Oh boy, I could give myself a stroke stressing over having a perfect home to show potential buyers.  In fact I had it all planned how smoothly this process would ensue because a potential buyer would walk into our home and be astounded at the sheer beauty of my domestic endeavors.
 The sparkling toilets and floors, the staged bedrooms, the lack of any personal photo in the entire place and automaticaly offer us full listing price for our home....
cause that's completely reasonable right? 

God is so funny. 
He knows I grasp at any control I can get. 

And he knows how to not -so- humbly remind me I'm not in control. 

 Like when our first showing was while I was starting a 12 hour shift at the hospital, my younger brother in law was at our house with 4 little girls and a dog and Nick had to go ino the office for an emergency.  Talk about me having no control.  I had to laugh. 

Or when we thought there was a solid offer on our home so we found a new one for ourselves only to have our buyer back out a week later. 

One of my favorite ways I was shown I'm not in control was the 2nd weekend our house was on the market.  My Mom and Grandma were coming for a weekend visit. 
My Granmda is such a healthy lady, she has overcome breast cancer but other than that is 100%.
  So when she walked into my living room ater a 6 hour car ride with a pained look on her face and  admitted with reluctance she was having chest pain I knew we couldn't ignore it. 

Praise the Lord I know a good hospital!  
We headed to my hospital thinking we would be home in a few hours feeling silly for making such an improtu visit to the ER.
  In fact, she almost had me talked into turning around and taking her home, so convicing she was that she felt better. 

But knowing that time is of the essence with cardiac matters we went on. 
Three nights and three cardiac stents later she was back to my house
then back home to Arkansas the next day. 
It was a whirlwind of a weekend, with 4 showings that Saturday while Grandma was in the hospital. 

So yes Lord, I'm getting it.  Not. In. Control.

So you need more proof?

Two weeks ago my neice was staying the night. 

 It's pretty common for her to spend a night a week with us. 

Sometimes Usually she and Blake find ways to get into things they aren't supposed to...
and I know this.

But when Kate walked out of their room bringing me some kids scissors, I was confused.

  I walked into the room to see TWO little girls with hair chopped in various degrees of

OH MY GOODNESS.

I was completely shocked. 
Me?
  The Mom who limits sugar and tv and processed food has TWO kids (one who is not mine!!)
in my house,
under my care
that have given and received horrendous hair cuts. 
God help us all. 
I frantically called her Mom.
  I  frantically called Nick. 
Then in shock I sat and cried. 
Then we rushed to a hairdresser that did the best she could to make our girls look fit to go in public without embarassment.  Then we came back home to lots of long talks (she loves those ;) about how she knew better and how she can't have curls or braids for a very long time. 
About how you do what you know is right no. matter. what. 
About punishments we need to execute so she remembers that we never ever ever cut hair. 
I'll still never understand how why they did it. 
My daughter loves her hair.
 She loves having it braided and curled and pairing it with a pretty bow and a ruffled dress.
  She is all girl. 

So now she is all girl with a short little chopped haircut.

In all seriousness the Lord has been working on my heart about HIS control over my life.
  He is faithful when I am overwhelmed.  Praise the Lord.

I have felt inadequate, over-burdened, beat down...then I found this verse.

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said,
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
 So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. http://bible.us/2Cor12.8.NLT

I still can't read it without tears filling my eyes.
When I am weak, Christ is working?? 
So easy to say, hard to let sink in. 
But believe me when I say it held me up this week.
My burdens are so light compared to others, but somehow they can still wear deeply on me. 
So I cling to this verse. 
I let his words and promises change my heart and I choose Joy.
  I choose renewal by His spirit. 


If you made it to the end, you deserve lots pictures...I promise I'll work on it!

Because I have been a Terrible blogger, here is what was saved in my draft!
I promise to get a family update soon.  There's plenty to talk about, so I'll work on it :)

Meanwhile, several MONTHS ago....goodness....my Dad and Kim came for a nice long visit...
Here's some of what we did..

Life Questions

Dear Blake,

Today you asked me a tough question.  It seemed easy enough when you asked it, but as a few minutes passed it made me contemplate a few things. 

You asked me "Do bad people get to go to heaven?" 

My knee-jerk reaction was, "No, sweetheart they don't."

But then a few minutes passed and I caught myself.  I tried explaining this concept to you, but I could tell it didn't sink it...so I wanted to write it out so that someday you can look back on it. 

What we believe is that we are going to be in heaven some day only because of what Jesus did for us on the cross.  The Bible says that we (me especially) would ever be able to stand in the "GOOD" category without the blood of Jesus.  Without Him standing in my place and saying to God, "Wait, don't look at all she's done wrong, look at what I did for her on the cross!  I will stand in her place, I paid for all her sin!"   {for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:23}

There is only one that lived a "Good" life, a perfect life, and that is Jesus.   So my answer now to you is:  There are lots of bad people in heaven....but they looked to Jesus and accepted his free gift of salvation and even though they did nothing to deserve it they will get to spend an eternity with God.  Just like you and me, there is nothing we can do to be good enough for God's presence.  And yes there are "bad" people.   Those that hurt, threaten, bully.  But the truth is that there is nothing so bad that God can't forgive us and welcome us into his family, and into heaven someday, if we accept Jesus as our perfection. 

The key to how we live our life now is this....because of what Jesus did, because of his great love, we live our lives wanting to show him how thankful we are for what he did.  How could we do less? 

God uses you little one, more than you know, to make me remember these things. 

Love,

Mommy

Kate is 2!

March 29, 2012

Dear Kate,

You are now officially a two year old!  We just celebrated you with a big birthday with lots of friends.  You had a Piggy cake, a bounce house and an Egg hunt!  You actually had FOUR parties this year!  We traveled to Arkansas last week to see all our family.  Nana and Papa, Grammie and Papaw, and Grandma and Grandpa EACH had you a party!  That’s a lot of getting “Happy Birthday” sung to you and lots and lots of cake and cupcakes!   You had a great time in Arkansas.  You really love your grandparents and all your cousins.    

As I write this you and Blake are playing in Blake’s room trying to avoid a nap time.  It’s funny how well you two play together when a nap time is looming. 

You love to sing, mostly twinkle twinkle little star, but there is a song I sing to you at bed time. It goes like this:

“Think of me every day.

Hold tight to what I say,

Then I’ll be close to you even from far away.

Know that wherever you are

It is never too far

If you think of me I’ll be with you.”

I hope you remember this song when you’re older.  I’ve loved singing it to you every night.

Just recently you started climbing out of your crib.  For two years you have been a fantastic sleeper, but I’m afraid that is no longer the case.  You dread being laid down and immediately climb out of your crib.  It’s been a learning process for our whole family!  Recently I rock you a little longer, then stand by your crib a few minutes in hopes you will drift to sleep. 

You are so excited to come find us when you wake up in the morning.  You’ll say “I out!!”It’s hard to be angry that you are up earlier than usual when you are so proud of yourself. 

You love babies.  You like to tickle them and play with their toes. 

You have the cutest little “Phoebe from Friends” run: arms flying, big grin across your face.  This has also led to lots and lots of scraped knees but you don’t really mind. 

You make new friends everywhere you go.  You are very outgoing. 

You still LOVE piggy.  She is a big part of our day!  She’s getting a bit tattered but you don’t mind.  You like to pretend Piggy is crying and comfort her, or pretend she needs a snack and let her have some of yours.   You even like ME to comfort Piggy if she is upset. 

Your favorite books are “Chicka, Chicka, Boom, Boom” , “How does a Dinosaur say I Love You?” and anything Sandra Boyton. 

Your favorite show is Blue’s Clues with Dora in a close second.

Your favorite drink is chocolate milk.

Your favorite food is cheese or anything sweet.

Beside me, Daddy and Blake your favorite person is your Uncle Baus.  You ask for him so much and just light up when he is around. 

You are SO confident in your colors, but are rarely correct! I’ll ask you what a color is and you will instantly shoot back “Green!!” when the object is red.  It makes me laugh every time.  Who knows if you really know it’s red and just like making me laugh.

Being your Mommy is so much fun.  We have a great time taking walks, coloring, going to the park and cooking in the kitchen.  It amazes me how much I love you. 

As always, I hope you know how much love the Lord has for you.  He has been right by you since you were even this young.  I have seen his hand of protection and provision work in your life already.  Remember Him, Kate.  Remember how He loves you.  Don’t let the world tell you He’s not real or doesn’t care about you, because He does.  He will be the only sure constant in you r life.  Lean heavily on Him. 

I love you to the moon and back.

All my love,

Mommy

Fairy Garden Tea Party

Blake is recently really  in to ballet.  I think  Angelina Ballerina on NetFlix started it, then a friend from work gave me her little girls old ballet shoes and tights....

We love to turn on Pandora Radio, move the coffee table and dance some ballet moves in the living room.  So when my friend invited us to a Ballet Fairy Garden Tea Party how could we refuse?

Sweet Friends, Ava and Blake

we also rode the elevator several time for "fun"

With Miss Teen Dallas

It was a bit windy, but we had so much fun and I loved giving Blake my undivided attention for the afternoon. 

I feel so behind and really just a plain ole' lack of motivation for blogging lately (ok, last 6 months).  Seems like I would need to catch up on everything from Thanksgiving to Christmas if I wanted to really get back on track...but I think instead I'll make a fresh start. 

  Another part of me thinks no one really reads this blog, especially with facebook (shout out to my loyal reader/ BFF Jodi!)  Then there's also a part of me that feels like God has worked so much in our family over the last few months and it feels so extremely personal that it's hard for me to share.  But if nothing else this blog gives me a little time to organize my thoughts and try to put in to words what our life is like. 

So.  I'll give you an update person by person, cause I know you're on the edge of your seat to know what each of us is up to.

NICK

  Here's the short version.   Nick starts a new job this week.  This is a big deal to our family, because Nick is the primary bread-winner for us.  He his so devoted to providing for us and I'm so proud of him for embarking on a new journey when he  could've stuck to what is comfortable and familiar.  We spent hours and hours in prayer trying to look for what God's plan was for us.  There were a few months that I really wanted to believe that God would move us back to our home state. There's so much that  you miss when raising your children away from your family and their grandparents and cousins.  Not to mention having some "back up" for respite care when you are raising small children!!  Between Nick and I we have a HUGE family, all special to us and would be great playmates and influences on Blake and Kate.  So we laid ourselves before the Lord and asked him to either provide a career for Nick back home or to change our hearts, because we both were ready to go back.  The Lord is so gracious in how he works.  Though we did not find a job that would support us in Arkansas and though I still mourn the girls not getting enough time with our extended family, the Lord has given me peace that we are where we are supposed to be.   We are growing sprititually and the Lord is providing more time for us to be together.   Nick's new job is very close to our house, which means he will be home earlier and even gets to work from home a bit. 

SARAH

I am feeling a deep peace that God has worked these changes we are going through in response to a prayer wrote in my bible several years ago.  I am in no way complaining about working, in fact I love being a nurse and having a real tangible way to minister to the sick and hurting and their families.  But we made a decision when Blake was born that we would do whatever it took to keep our kids at home with us and that meant me working long shifts on the weekends.  I don't think I could ever give up nursing completely, but at this stage in my life I'm happily working one shift a week.  This way we always have Sundays to go to church, have lunch and rest together that day as a family.  I can't tell you what a difference having that day together makes for us.  I feel rested and renewed and it gives me something to look forward to every week. 

Back to my job.  I know it may sound corny,but I LOVE being a nurse.  Really love it.  If you knew some of the details of what nurses do, you'd probably laugh at the absurdity of it and maybe even lose your lunch.  But I couln't be happier with my career choice.  Yes, sometimes doctors are completely rude and yes sometimes patients throw a punch at you.  But I get a real chance to show grace and to help someone that is sick or hurting.  There have been days when I realize it's 6:00 pm and all I had to drink was my coffee on the way to work, but you always get to clock out and come home and be thankful that you are healthy.

Since I have Sundays free we've been able to volunteer in Kate's bible class at church on Sundays.  Um. SO stinkin' sweet these kids are.  And it makes me fall even more in love with Nick to see him love on and care about these little ones.   So we get to play, sing songs, and help them learn how much Jesus loves them. 

BLAKE

Blake is four and is such a precious child.  She is happy and accomidating.  She is absolutely the BEST big sister I have ever seen.  She is so patient, shares anything, and helps me in any way I ask when it comes to Kate.  Just the other day Kate was driving me nuts while I was trying to cook dinner and Blake said "Mom, do you want me to take her for a while?"  I gave a quick "YES!!" and she came and took Kate's hand to help her find something they could play together.  Nick and I have so many moments where we look at each other with a look that says "Wow, she's amazing."  I'm so thankful I get another year with her before she goes to kingerdarten.  Here are some things Blake likes :  Our swing set (she can swing by herself now and loves to tell friends how "impressed" we are by it.), the sand box, ballet (she starts dance class this summer",  our school time (she's learning her alphabet in sign language recently), our dog Levi (she likes to have him dance with her as her "prince"), having friends over to play, going to preschool and church. 

Her favorite number is ONE trillion.  Someone told her that was the biggest number in the world. 

She only wants to wear dresses that will "twirl" so we are a bit limited in wardrobe choices. 

She loves to make up her own songs and sing them loudy.  I

n the bath tub the other day Kate was lying her head down acting like she was sleeping and Blake commented that "Kate was like Jesus when he slept in the boat during the storm". 

We get told atleast once a day that Blake looks just like me...and I love it.

KATE

Oh, dear Kate.  She is a wild one.  It's hard to remember if Blake was quite this wild at almost 2.  Maybe you just forget as they grow.  Kate is talking so much.  She'll say "I don't like it"  "What are  you doing?"  She spends a good portion of her day wanting me to do things for her, can you believe it?  She is a busy busy girl.  She loves to "roll" her own backpack in to church on preschool days which means a good 5 minute walk in and out of church.  She has big opinions on whether she wants to be buckled OR unbuckled from her carseat.  She has big opnions on what and where she wants to eat her meals. 

I hate to even say it outloud in fear that I may jinx things, but she's really doing well with potty training.  She's wearing pull ups and does this funny, leg-crossing potty dance that lets me know she needs to go. 

She still loves her Piggy the most.  Lord help us if we ever truly lose that pig. 

Kate hates to have her teeth brushed and will only willingly let Blake brush them.

She loves to have her bedtime routine. The reading books, singing, rocking.  (Oh and of course she has big opinions on what books and what songs. )

So there's your update on us. I've been terrible at getting pictures lately. Lazy really. But I did take these of Kate.  Such a cutie.